Online Relationships:Why won't they meet in real?
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Online Relationships:Why won't they meet in real?

We find someone online that seems to be a wonderful, with a powerful connection. We share time and our inner thoughts with them.

Why, when there seems nothing to prevent two people from bringing the relationship to real life, do they balk?

This was one of the questions that the search engines referred to my website, so I thought I would attempt to answer that directly.

I can think of two reasons for why someone would not wish to meet someone they care about from their online connections.

1. Online relationships are so much easier than the burden laden real life components of taking on someone else's problems. Trying to merge lives in real is extremely complex and is laden with all sorts of items that could prove difficult and caustic. Adding fights and negotiations needed for a working compromise, shatters the illusion of perfection.

Sometimes the fantasy is what is desired. Fantasy in the real world is harder and harder to come by. The cold cruel facts of lives these days are less optimistic than 25 years ago. There is less hope. 

Often the other party thinks all their problems can be handled and solved by their beloved. That can be perceived as a burden, they would choose not to take. We are all just mortal, after all, we don't have all the solutions, even if we claim to online.

2. You don't know everything, and they don't wish you to know.

Here I will tell a story, I was at the eye doctor when that horrid question of, "What do you do for a living?" came up. I took a deep breath and tried to give an accurate elevator pitch that is really not that short. 

A guy in the office over heard me and interrupted. "May I ask a question? I heard what you do?" He then told me a story of a gal who he met online. They understood each other, supported each other through life's hiccups. He very much wanted to meet her in real.  Took him months to convince her to meet him, and when she did...she was in a wheel chair with breathing apparatus. He was appalled that she did not tell him and was not honest with him.
His question..."Why didn't she tell me?"

Because that would have shatter the fantasy, and what she cherished was his desire for her... a whole her. One that he could never have, but she so wished she could give him. 

He claimed he was not as upset about her condition as he was the fact she withheld that information from him. It ruined it for them both. Was it the lack of information or the condition that ended the romance? Might never know.

Other things that might be hidden.
They are really married.
They are not who they say they are.
They have lied to you about their age, race, religion, weight, height etc.

Being online they never had an opportunity to tell you the bad components of themselves. While we are online we tell our tale from within our own justifications not the things that your struggling with. No one likes to air their dirty laundry.

Just got out of prison.
Has a drinking, gambling, drug problem.
Lives with his mother.

So with that component clearly stated, that they do not wish to bring love further, it is now your turn to decide if the online relations is your final goal, or if you seek greener pastures.
Hugs,


22 Comments to Online Relationships:Why won't they meet in real? :

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Wendy Roberts on Saturday, October 13, 2012 4:26 AM
There are lots of reasons of it. In my view as in virtual relationship both hide so many important things about own-self so none is actually informed about the other person. Thanks for highlighting an important clue of online relationship.
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Pamala Clift on Tuesday, October 16, 2012 8:35 AM
Yes, Wendy most of the time we know what is about us that might not work for the other and try to keep that hidden, however, a good many people are denying that component themselves. They don't recognize their glitches and if someone points it out to them they go into an emotional drama/trauma fit.
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sweating solution on Wednesday, August 28, 2013 11:59 PM
I must say that overall I am really impressed with this blog. It is easy to see that you are impassioned about your writing. I wish I had got your ability to write. Thanks for sharing.


can separation save a marriage on Wednesday, October 31, 2012 10:39 AM
I think both feel awkward because usually in this kind of relationship people don't express themselves properly. But I think we should make clear the partners about own-selves though they are still virtual. It helps to reduce the further complications. Thanks for point out the fact.
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Orlando Bellini on Wednesday, July 31, 2013 7:02 AM
I couldn't agree more, those relationships are pretty awkward. I had one in the past to I'm talking from my own experience. You know eachoter very well, but yet you don't know eachoter at all... if that makes any sense...


Arnold Mason on Sunday, November 11, 2012 4:00 AM
I had keen interest to know about online relationships which are displayed there. Hey mate I always support your job because you do always favor us. Thank you for informing about this matter online. Keep it up...
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search here on Tuesday, November 13, 2012 11:42 PM
The number of online relations that are happening in this present age is real high. People tend to have a lot of online relationships these days. Only some of them tend to work out. This article really covered all the main points in this topic.
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Manchester SEO on Tuesday, January 22, 2013 10:45 PM
Since last five years, a trend to make online relationship between teenagers and youngster has been increased. In my view, it's a matter of concern as you also said that only few of them reach the end.
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blog commenting services on Monday, July 01, 2013 4:00 AM
Trying to merge lives in real is extremely complex and is laden with all sorts of items that could prove difficult and caustic. Adding fights and negotiations needed for a working compromise, shatters the illusion of perfection.
Reply to comment


blog commenting services on Monday, July 01, 2013 4:05 AM
hanks for highlighting an important clue of online relationship. Reply to comment
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straightening machine on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 3:17 AM
if you seek greener pastures.
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seo services jaipur on Wednesday, July 17, 2013 6:51 AM
Online relationships are so much easier than the burden laden real life components of taking on someone else's problems.
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Zusatzinfo on Monday, July 22, 2013 4:47 PM
Some people find it easier to type their true thoughts than admit to them face-to-face. So in some ways you get more honesty online. You might learn about someone much faster in a chat window than on a date... how sad.
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Pamala Clift on Tuesday, July 23, 2013 7:54 AM
Zuszat you are right in some ways online relationships can be more honest spirit-to-spirit simply because we haven't learned to put up the many walls we do in real. However, that only works for those that are immersive and are portraying themselves while online. It would not work for a disassociative who is online for entertainment. Those are states of mind while engaged online. We expect the anonymity of the web to hide us enough to feel free to circumvent societal norms and express our inner thoughts that may be contrary. Hugs, Pam


echa un vistazo a este sitio on Sunday, November 10, 2013 5:17 PM
Fantasy in the real world is harder and harder to come by. Online relationships are the reason why people can't be themselves when they meet face to face.
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Dave on Thursday, May 29, 2014 2:23 AM
Good post on hazardous affects caused by online relationships. Florida Uncontested Divorce
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Dissertation Palace on Tuesday, August 26, 2014 6:29 AM
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earn online on Wednesday, September 03, 2014 12:36 AM
Online relationships must make very carefully . Your post is very informative . Thanks for taking time to publish this post .
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originele pagina on Monday, September 15, 2014 3:06 AM
Good article. I've never done online dating, should give it a try hehe :-) Markus
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risinghopecounseling on Monday, September 12, 2016 11:10 PM
Fantasy in the real world is harder and harder to come by. Online relationships are the reason why people can't be themselves when they meet face to face.
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