Virtual Relationships-Are we Blind?
Virtual Handhold, LLC -  Human/Computer Interface Psychology
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Virtual Relationships-Are we Blind?

Are we blind when we communicate and connect online? 

Is the only way to "Really" love visual and tactile?

Does that mean someone blind cannot love? 

Can you only love someone you touch? (That would totally take the romance out of the lyrics - "...to love pure and chaste from afar" Impossible Dream)

We have all heard the saying, "Love at first sight." Many times those incidents have been documented as life long commitments that work, other times it was a fleeting passion dissolved with the first spoken word.

In my book I do not count anything one-sided as love, but what if it is felt both ways? Is it a relationships then?

For every ONE way of defining love you will get "hit & miss" stories in real or virtual connections, so lets jump right to the philosophical statement - There are no absolutes...Absolutely! *wink*

So are there connections made online that can turn to love? Yes, plain and simple, we cannot rule out possibilities in this irrational human existence.

What is the best method to discern this?

1. First thing to question - Are the complements coming way to fast?
    Having someone stroke your ego right off the bat without ever knowing who they are talking to might be a sure way to feel good about yourself but does that constitute a relationship of love or self love?

This is often a tool sales people use who have to pour on the shmaltzy to get people to buy.

Complements given too fast are rubbish.

2. Time: Relationships need time to be labeled true. So an online relationship of 3 hours during the last two weeks would not give you a correct measurement with any level of accuracy.

The higher the intellect on the other end, the harder and longer it will take to discern their true desires. There are professional deceivers among us... umm look at politicians, sales, business, psychics, psychologists ...the list goes on and on. We all seem to know how to spin reality to our benefit.

3. As it says in the Virgin's Handbook you have to know the level of engagement of the other party. Are they engaging with you disassociatively, immersively or augmentatively? Meaning are they looking for entertainment which you are supplying; Immersively engaged with you using their true perceptions and communication; or are they trying to sell you something?

4. Recognize your needs and what story you wish to be a part of and then enjoy it initially as a story. Think first of your interactions as a good book or movie. All books & movies end, so realize that at the start as well.

If after sometime of consistent interaction you both feel this is more than a story, well then take safe steps to meet. (I will go into that in another blog post)

Virtual relationships are no different then real relationships in that everything is up for question as how does the other person truly feel.

So when everything washes out and goes wrong does that mean the method of connection was false or just the perception and communication was at fault?

Be good to yourself and realize hiccups are a part of being human. 

Forgive and learn. 
Don't turn bitter.
Reflect and respin from the other person's point of view.

Relationships are difficult. Finding a match, even for a short time is a true quest. Good Luck... and Hugs.

You can always email me with your stories or make an appointment if trauma is plaguing you.
   


5 Comments to Virtual Relationships-Are we Blind?:

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Sozome on Wednesday, August 14, 2013 3:41 PM
Hi :) I'm the new "Librarian" at Austin Island in SecondLife, my goal is to rebuild their library with pieces that do NOT violate copyrights of the original authors. Not an easy task as there is not a great deal on the net pertinent to the group that has been published under a Creative Commons License. I am writing to you to ask if I might include your entry http://www.virtualhandhold.com/blog/2013/08/05/Virtual-Relationships-Are-we-Blind.aspx within my nascent library on a note card. Duly sourced and credited of coure (and will also act as a driver to your website. I've also attended a few of your discussions in SL and about a year ago <?> I purchased your ebook "Virgin's Handbook" after a discussion you gave at CommuneUtopia so I would actually enjoy introducing you to the community I serve. Thank you for your time and consideration and I look forward to hearing from you. Regards, Meme (Sozome Resident)
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Pamala Clift on Thursday, August 15, 2013 7:29 AM
Hugs Sozome: Absolutely You have my permission to include it in the notecard this blog post and link. I can even give you my first paper in SL which is close to Chapt 5 in the Virgin's Handbook. I would be delighted if you wish, at some point in time, to deliver the same presentation to your community if I can be of any help please let me know. This medium is very powerful, however, since it is a struggle to deal with the feelings it has often been labeled invalid because of personal hiccups. If we can educate the populace in the normal emotional evolution so there is support. By the way, the book has been recently updated with a more grammatically corrected version. If you have the Kindle version please request the update for free. Thank you so much for your communication and your assistance in helping this new generation deal with being a successful digital citizen.


Cecila Hemming on Thursday, October 15, 2015 8:19 AM
There are in reality occurrences associated with ill?
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Mittie Montayes on Tuesday, October 27, 2015 6:18 AM
finding the very best wall?
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Randy Stenz on Friday, November 13, 2015 6:12 AM
read often the forums?
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