A delightful plan to shop for a like-minded person online...IF what you read online was 100% true. First decide the probability of truth for each item you read.
A huge amount of profiles on dating sites are foreigners working the site...trolling for lonely hearts, which they eventually wish to get close enough to... to spin a story that will wring money from you.
The list to the left is one I put up on Facebook for my friends.
I work my recommendations almost daily, examining for those items listed. Verbal communication almost instantly identifies a fraud.
None of these by itself says they are a fraud but with each combination the odds go up exponentially. Some dating sites give you 3-24 suggested matches, based on your location, or profile questions.
Look for income first. If they list income (which you should never do on a public website) and it is high, you know they are begging for a response. In this economy everyone is seeking to add security to their lifeline. If you do have a high income the last thing you want are gold diggers, so only those who don't have it will list it.
Like I advise in my book do not ask people for answers to "What?" questions, like: "What kind of car do you drive?" "What do you do for a living?" Questions that ask for What? will get you a huge chance of being a fabrication. Instead, Ask why? Why did you decide to buy that kind of car? Why did you choose that profession?
If their first comments are generic and highly complementary. "You have such a lovely smile. I want to make you mine. I can tell you have a loving heart. We belong together." Anything you would put on candy hearts or the back of a romance novel should be a red flag. No one has talked to you yet, they can't possibly discern WHO you are or make any kind of absolute statement in such a void.
I would say that 75% of your responses (unless you are indeed a super model) will be of this caliber. Prepare in advance. Do not set your heart on any story spun for you. That includes the ones spun when you meet them in real. Falsifications happen in real as well as online.
Expect rejection. Can't emphasis this enough. When men go online they expect super models, not real women, plus they want the loving devoted female that will sacrifice for them and support them. This is almost a total oxymoron. Those who are focused on "I" and getting all the right clothes, makeup and exercise are not going to lose all that to focus on you. What you get if you land one of these is a princess. You are their to serve HER.
If you are a woman looking for the successful alpha male that looks like a movie star you will get the same thing, plus you won't be valued and can be replaced at anytime with a new gal to stroke his ego.
We do not live for reality; we live for our fantasy. People don't believe their desires are a fantasy, but the emphasis you place on the components of this life tells you what is valued. If that is not what you value you need to rethink what you are shopping for.
Send messages with questions and don't think about them again unless they respond. So you send out 10 messages a night and not get any response for a month. That is OK!! In fact that is desirable. What you are shopping for is your Match. You are a unique person. You are fishing through a whole ocean of creatures. That takes time.
Be yourself and work it like a job. If you are serious and want a companion and think it is too time consuming to do trial and errors at a bar or church, then online is perfect. I particularly like virtual worlds to date in first, but if it is a real life companion your shopping for you're gonna have to meet them in real.
Don't be discouraged. This is an adventure and with each hiccup you have a wonderful story to relate.
Good luck, be cautious and keep everything disassociative until your match arrives. Hugs, Pam