Fear of failure seems to be a major motivating factor that STOPS everything.
"I can't talk to her. What if she doesn't like me?"
We are afraid of rejection, so much so that games are incorporating that fear to get you to buy stuff. Wow, we can't even stand to see the word FAIL on a Candy Crush level so we will buy a cheat component to pass level 147.
"But what if I fail?" Is hardwired into us. Fail means you're not good enough...but in whose eyes? By what game? ...and who says you have to follow their rules? Is that game even valid to you, really?
I have been watching a lot of Disney movies lately and there seems to be a common thread for each hero's journey... The hero breaks the rules! Mulan was a female who went into the army; Aladdin was a street rat who stole; Hercules wasn't a hero until he truly sacrificed what others thought valuable to safe another... In other words, until you step outside of the box of OTHERS expectations to be true to the voice within you, you can't truly succeed.
That's true in real life as well. "You can't fly." was said to Wilbur & Orville. You can't... YOU can't... YOU CAN'T... is what everyone else will say who doesn't hear the beat of your drum.
So are you going to listen?
I had a smart aleck guy tell me he was so smart that he knew how this game would end and he would always win. He then went and told me the rules to his game. I looked at the board, determined that if he knew things would end his way if I followed his rules, then I wouldn't follow his rules. I am mischievous that way. *wink* I created my OWN game, which was; I was not going to let it end the way he anticipated. That was the game I was playing.
We create our own game with rules that we determine. If you play someone elses game, with THEIR rules, they will win.
Same thing goes with our current life. The rules say the points are $. If you don't have enough dollars you have FAILED. If you buy into that game you will indeed fail...because guess what? No matter how much money you get, you will die.
We will all die, but if you spent your whole life chasing those $ points and have foregone all the things that YOU wanted out of your time here on the blue planet, then you have failed you.
Nobody at the end of your life is going to give you a blue ribbon and say you won, because you got the most $ points. It will be just "you, yourself, and I" that reviews your life.
What game are you going to play? By what rules are you going to live? Do not even flinch if someone says, YOU Failed! in their game. You're not living their game. You're living yours.
So if that girl says, "Go away, Creep." Don't consider it a failure, consider it a new challenge. Make up your own game. How many different ways will she say "Get Lost" before you whittle her down to, "Ok, I will have a cup of coffee with you."
Yeah! Your game rules. You determine when you have won. Awesome isn't it. Only you get to say when you fail, but fail only means you have quit. You can easily redraw the rules to your game and come at it in another way.
The only way you fail, is if you follow other's rules to their game.
Enjoy the journey...just make it your own.