You know how irrational it is when people try to compartmentalize you.
"Oh, you're a yellow person, an INTJ, or you're an introvert."
People try to squeeze you into an easy-to-understand judgemental box, so they can dismiss you or accept you based on an "either/or" decisions tree.
"You are not my religion, or the wrong color, too fat, too skinny" The way people superficially categorize others is a huge problem, especially when you are on the receiving end.
But you scream in your mind, I am MORE than just that one category "Short, tall, Republican, Jewish, a dentist..etc. The fast food mentality focuses on "NO". It is easy to find a reason to dismiss someone as irrelevant, no one takes the time to learn the complexity of an individual.
People come in different flavors and outside superficialities rarely tell the whole story.
Looking for a soulmate is hard if you are not in a superficial, easily discernable category. That has become the bad thing of this modern world's visual communication overload. It has become popular for men to only want thin ladies with the perfect makeup for their arm candy?
In the older days it was considered high society if the woman had meat on her, which meant you were a great provider.
You are not bad because you don't look like the plastic surgery barbie dolls on TV with their team of makeup artists and wardrobes.
You are good. The societal context is fleeting and only in individual cultures. We are big people, short people, curly heads or straight limp hair and all of that is ok. If we buy into the PERFECT, no one will be happy.
Vanilla is pretty & bland looking but almost always acceptable. If you want to be bland...be conventional.
However, if you think the spice of life is multiple flavors of people, with multiple perspectives and everything has both value and hiccups than you will open yourself to the wonders of the planet.
Nothing is as wonderful as choices. Don't buy into cookie-cutter ideals. Reach out and try those that are NOT your first visual choice. It is amazing the character of people that are not wasting time squelching who they are, so they can appear like someone else. They usually have personalities and thoughts above just cliches.
Take the path less traveled by and enjoy the journey. Hugs, Pam