When a new connection is made life is a whirlwind. Trying to make your significant other happy. Hoping that as they get to know you they don't hit an impossible roadblock. (Nope, I can't be with someone that clips their toenails in bed...type thing)
It is as stressful as it is exciting. Will the rough edges of the two of you eventually interlock? Can he/she be everything they are portraying? Are they lying? Playing you? Are they just a leech and will run out on you when you can not provide any more stuff? All those thoughts run constantly in the back of your mind as your emotions and desire for the ultimate fairytale relationship continue to race to the infinity sign of the universe. This has GOT to be IT!
There are those that find a perfect relationship and ruin it with all their questions and fears. How can you get past that knowing at any moment it can all come crashing down on you?
My solution: Nothing is perfect. People change. For every "Hello" there will be a "goodbye". (even if it ends at the death bed) So there you have it.
"What?" you say? That is a very dismal attitude. No, it is a very freeing attitude. It allows you to forgive in advance the eventual demise of that honeymoon closeness, which will come.
The honeymoon phase of any relationship will shift and change. Nothing can ever be the first kiss, or first orgasim with your new partner. People remember firsts. Once you have gotten past that you have other things to discover, but they will be different. It is a good thing to understand that.
Once you make up your mind to attempt a merging, live it to its fullest. Do not question yourself. You have chosen a leg in your maze of life, some will be good, some will be bad. Nothing will stay the same, but this is an exciting journey. Don't dampen your full engagement with this experiment to play with doubts and troubles that have not arisen yet.
Too many people are doing the "Well, I will stick my toe in the water." not fully committed to exploring, discovering, changing and merging. Guess what? If you only give a bit...you will only get a bit. That is something no one wants. So give it your all. In for an ounce...in for a ton, good, bad, or ugly you are choosing this path. If it crashes and burns, that is ok because you forgave in advance.
It then becomes totally freeing. Enjoy this upswing of feelings. Know that it most likely will end and certainly change. But many things end. The roller coaster ride ends; the last bite of the banana split ends; your favorite book and movie end...none of those endings will stop you from choosing to engaging in them just because they will end. Why should you require infinity for a relationship to be true and worthwhile?
Engaging with life shouldn't end, until your life ends. Be comfortable with being the fool, because that step off the precipice will be one hell of a ride. lol
Enjoy the journey! Hugs, Pam