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Virtual Handhold, LLC -  Human/Computer Interface Psychology
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Recent Posts

Time is Money? or Time is Happiness?
The Secret to Happiness...Physical Beings or Reality?
Dating Sites--Is there hope?
...But I am soo lonely?
A Call to Trolls!


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All one big Whole

Time is Money? or Time is Happiness?

Most people who buy into the rules of the game look at their time as money. If I work harder, smarter I will get the points of the game...which is money.

With money I can buy the big house (I won't have time to stay in), the big tv (that shows the exact same shows as the little one), the fancy car (that drives the same distance to work as the economical one.) BUT people will look at me as successful!?!

That is apparently the point of the game... other people's approval. That is sad really. Don't the psychologists call that co-dependant?

The Secret to Happiness...Physical Beings or Reality?

I have been examining what makes people happy, and I have come to a few conclusions.

1. They have a goal they are striving for...
2. They have and desire these things.
a. loyalty
b. love
c. courage
d. determination
e. appreciation
f. beauty 
g. creativity (observing or creating)
h. forgiveness 
g. honesty ..etc.

Most of these nouns can be used as verbs as well. "I love you." Love being the action. or "Love is wonderful." Love being the noun and subject.

All that is fine if you are into epistemology but that doesn't solve anything really.

Dating Sites--Is there hope?

Touch is so needed for these biological avatars we live in. We need to feel close to someone. Sometimes just a hug will do it. Sometimes you need a stable second personality to give you perspective.

Today the choices are... Meet someone at work; meet them at a bar; or a chance meeting at the laundromat or grocery store. A lot of hurdles to get to know someone, but dating sites say, "Come we All want someone. Meet them here!"

But remember each site needs money to run. Each site will claim they are the best in the business in one form or the other.

...But I am soo lonely?

Strange that with so many ways to connect in today's technological world, people can feel so alone.  

Everyone posts when something wonderful happens in their life or how much they love their significant other, which only increases the feelings of loneliness for those that are not actively engaged is some sort of partnership arrangement.

It can seem that all the world is happy and you just don't belong, but it is not so. 

We are ALL alone. That's right. Everyone of us are in our own skin and our own mind, alone!

A Call to Trolls!

What the &*(&)%!@#$! are you doing? I can hear the response

Trolls attack. They get in your face and make you examine every possible thought or motive that made you make a statement online. They are brutal and the more you respond with any type of emotion the more they nit-pick through your innards.

There are immersives that have become introverts, dropped off the web, and even committed suicide because of the viciousness of attacks. I am not condoning this type of behavior, but I can also see a tenaciousness that we need and can be directed toward reworking governments.

Weighing your Stress

I have watched a difficult situation be evaluated by a team at my new project location.

New ownership, meant new management, meant new software to run, new accounting methods, new business licenses and all the government hoops. Some people leave because it is too stressful, some are asked to leave. No doubt this is indeed a stressful situation causing interrupts to function, but how much are you going to allow it to affect you?

Little things like, "Where are the garbage cans?" can tip the scale, pushing people to their limits.

The Power of Acceptance

Crowd think. It is natural for our species to wish to belong. There is great power that can be wielded for good and evil because of that need.

Peer pressure would be an example of bad. Also patriotism and religion have been known to use this basic human need to manipulate individuals into doing things contrary to positive actions for self.

We need to feel accepted and valued. 

Yesterday's Roadside Philosopher's topic was, "What is your ultimate question?" We had many wonderful contributions but one question hit me as unique.

But what if I Fail?

Fear of failure seems to be a major motivating factor that STOPS everything.

"I can't talk to her. What if she doesn't like me?" 

We are afraid of rejection, so much so that games are incorporating that fear to get you to buy stuff. Wow, we can't even stand to see the word FAIL on a Candy Crush level so we will buy a cheat component to pass level 147.

"But what if I fail?" Is hardwired into us. Fail means you're not good enough...but in whose eyes? By what game?

Freedom of letting others be Free.

It is amazing how much we wish freedom for ourselves but want to curtail others.

It is also a knee-jerk reaction for women to want to tie down a man for their security, and men's desire NOT to be burdened. So we have a gender issue here.

We have those who think their religion should dominate the planet and they will do whatever they have to do to make others See the Light! 

There are those that say they are scientifically minded and believe everyone elses experiences irrelevant, seeking to step on and smear anything that can't be proved with numbers (as if numbers were not a

Agile Personal Relationship Choices

There are tons of articles that tell you how to spend your money, or predict your financial future with offerings of decision trees or unique methodologies, but very little to tackle the emotional drama-trauma that comes with intimate relationships?

So outside of theState of Beingcomponent (see presentation under education menu) to judge at what level of engagement the person opposite is in, I would like to offer one other simple structure.

You have all heard the  "What does it mean to you.

Whose Dogma is Reality?

Reality is a variable which depends on who is spinning the tale.

It saddens me to hear people get on their high- horses and use invalid trump cards without ever really thinking things through from the beginning.

There are the religious people who throw the trump card, "The Bible, Koran, Confucius, Torah, Budda...Says..." and that is supposed to end any further discussion.

There are the materialists that keep throwing Science up as their trump card without ever examining their thought processes either.

Less is More

Marketing has always spoon fed us the notion thatMORE=Happy

We figure if we have more food, a larger pool, a bigger house, more money, more friends that THAT will mean we are happy!

It takes a long time to reach the glutenous conclusion that "More" does not make one happy.

We have a government that figures MORE laws, MORE forms, MORE requirements will make things run smoother, but it doesn't. More red tape helps no one. MORE is not the answer...less is! Wouldn't it be lovely if all the laws were reduced to the Hippocratic Oath?

Dealing with NEVER... The word that ends something.

One thing is for sure, everyone reading this (outside of bots) are inhabiting a biological unit.

That deteriorating biological unit comes with an expiration date.

Nobody likes that, so we pretend it does not exist. It is the fault of everyone else or things, or insurance etc. 

I sometimes have a hard time with people when they start ranting about their 95 year old parent getting an infection and dying in the hospital. They act like death could have been avoided? 

There IS an EXPIRATION date in everyone's folder, but that is not what I wish to talk about today.

Project Manage Your Life

I meet a lot of Agile and Project Management professionals, but rarely do they think to take their business management expertise and apply it to their own life.

People seem to just be flotsom (material or refuse floating on water). Wherever the wave or current takes them they deal with it as if they have no control.

No one thinks. The day is filled with noise and demands from outside. They keep "background noise" going on all the time so they don't have to examine their own thoughts?

When Choosing a Partner, look for the Negative!

Making a decision about a mate is most often made by looking at what is desired.

He must be tall; she must be thin. Must be a beautiful person, make lots of money etc etc.

We shop like it is a grocery list. "Sorry you do not meet my criteria. You're dismissed."

This is totally the wrong way to look for a frail human companion.

The most important thing is to look at their faults. That's right...their faults. These are the things that will cause you to tear your hair out down the road.

...But a Name Makes it Real!

The "What is Real?" question about virtual existence has brought about tons of questionable aspects of our real life.

Names: What are names? Well if you pay the right people and fill out the right documents..."Poof" you now have a REAL company because it has a unique NAME! Did it exist before? Well, yeah you were working on it for awhile before you decided you wanted to be official. So giving it a NAME makes it real.

Back in the farming days people raised animals. I remember being told NOT to name the animals that were destined to be on the table, because you can not eat a pet.

We do not live for Reality; we live for our Fantasy!

What is true about our dreams? ...About comic books? ...About making Barbie talk to her doll friends? ...About having your action heros save the day? ...About watching a movie? ...Reading a novel? ...Seeing art or visualizing reality in a different way through music or touch?

All creativity is intrinsically valuable and it can make us happy, sad or introspective. The very components that we value as humans are materially NOT Real. Courage, Loyalty, Peace, Creativity, Beauty, Love, Challenge, Wonder etc.

Information Credibility vs State of Being

Since I am constantly examining "What is Real?" in the digital environment I have to explore tons of websites that claim credibility.

By what credentials does a website become valid? If I was Google I most likely would go by the USA standard culture of what is right and wrong. That would mean science and data from academia, government sites and traditional medicine would be higher rated…BUT.

I have worked in government and academia and they truly don't know any more than the man on the street often times.

The Puzzle of Life

For some strange reason I had a desire to assemble a puzzle. 

All I could think about as I was setting it out was how much this is a metaphor for life.

This was a used puzzle I checked out, so there is the nagging thought that maybe all the pieces are not there. Don't you wonder if you have all the pieces in life?

So you start out with the frame of the puzzle. Just like life, you try to scope out what is expected of you in the culture in which you are born. How much of the table top will it cover?

Being Alone? Is that BAD? Are you of less value?

It is interesting this holiday season how many sad comments I am getting about the fact that I am no longer partnered. That means I am physically in my abode by myself. "OMG how horrid for you during the holidays?"

Trying to explain my feelings seem to be irrevelant.

Being alone is the natural state of being. We are all alone in our mind. No one invades or truly knows who we are but us.

Whether you interact in a group or not you are still inside your mind seperate. Even in a crowd you are alone.