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Virtual Handhold, LLC -  Human/Computer Interface Psychology
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Project Manage Your Life
When Choosing a Partner, look for the Negative!
...But a Name Makes it Real!
We do not live for Reality; we live for our Fantasy!
Seeking Romance Online?


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Project Manage Your Life

I meet a lot of Agile and Project Management professionals, but rarely do they think to take their business management expertise and apply it to their own life.

People seem to just be flotsom (material or refuse floating on water). Wherever the wave or current takes them they deal with it as if they have no control.

No one thinks. The day is filled with noise and demands from outside. They keep "background noise" going on all the time so they don't have to examine their own thoughts?

When Choosing a Partner, look for the Negative!

Making a decision about a mate is most often made by looking at what is desired.

He must be tall; she must be thin. Must be a beautiful person, make lots of money etc etc.

We shop like it is a grocery list. "Sorry you do not meet my criteria. You're dismissed."

This is totally the wrong way to look for a frail human companion.

The most important thing is to look at their faults. That's right...their faults. These are the things that will cause you to tear your hair out down the road.

...But a Name Makes it Real!

The "What is Real?" question about virtual existence has brought about tons of questionable aspects of our real life.

Names: What are names? Well if you pay the right people and fill out the right documents..."Poof" you now have a REAL company because it has a unique NAME! Did it exist before? Well, yeah you were working on it for awhile before you decided you wanted to be official. So giving it a NAME makes it real.

Back in the farming days people raised animals. I remember being told NOT to name the animals that were destined to be on the table, because you can not eat a pet.

We do not live for Reality; we live for our Fantasy!

What is true about our dreams? ...About comic books? ...About making Barbie talk to her doll friends? ...About having your action heros save the day? ...About watching a movie? ...Reading a novel? ...Seeing art or visualizing reality in a different way through music or touch?

All creativity is intrinsically valuable and it can make us happy, sad or introspective. The very components that we value as humans are materially NOT Real. Courage, Loyalty, Peace, Creativity, Beauty, Love, Challenge, Wonder etc.

Information Credibility vs State of Being

Since I am constantly examining "What is Real?" in the digital environment I have to explore tons of websites that claim credibility.

By what credentials does a website become valid? If I was Google I most likely would go by the USA standard culture of what is right and wrong. That would mean science and data from academia, government sites and traditional medicine would be higher rated…BUT.

I have worked in government and academia and they truly don't know any more than the man on the street often times.

The Puzzle of Life

For some strange reason I had a desire to assemble a puzzle. 

All I could think about as I was setting it out was how much this is a metaphor for life.

This was a used puzzle I checked out, so there is the nagging thought that maybe all the pieces are not there. Don't you wonder if you have all the pieces in life?

So you start out with the frame of the puzzle. Just like life, you try to scope out what is expected of you in the culture in which you are born. How much of the table top will it cover?

Being Alone? Is that BAD? Are you of less value?

It is interesting this holiday season how many sad comments I am getting about the fact that I am no longer partnered. That means I am physically in my abode by myself. "OMG how horrid for you during the holidays?"

Trying to explain my feelings seem to be irrevelant.

Being alone is the natural state of being. We are all alone in our mind. No one invades or truly knows who we are but us.

Whether you interact in a group or not you are still inside your mind seperate. Even in a crowd you are alone.

Which is Reality? Don Quixote Inside or Out?

I gave for the first time the new presentation, "The Illusions We Live" just this last week. It was a rough delivery, but there was something of importance being brought together both in my mind and those that listened.

So what I want to talk about in this blog is again the perspective of reality with the fictional component of Don Quixote.

Don Quixote is an old coot of a character that sees evil and good through his own mental eyes. Most see him as a crazy delusional old man, but the value of the person was NOT what was viewed from outside.

Selling the Dream - Is Reality?

I am often criticized for not living in reality. Yet I can not seem to observe anything in reality that does not base itself in fiction?

I am currently in the market for two things. One is for a new love in my life, but that will have to wait till I land ...Two: a position to fund my passion.

I watch and I observe the way jobs are presented. One of the big red flags is if they present the Frame before the picture. What I mean about that is if they talk about your income first before they talk about what you will do for that income.

The Pain Was So Bad; How Can I Love Again?

Having a breakup can put you in the gun-shy group, where you relive and relive what things SHOULD have been, and question what went wrong.

Then when you meet someone else you hold up the same things that were pleasant in the previous relationship and now see them leading you down the path of destruction. All pleasant things are now seen bad.

How can you get pass that and let yourself love again?
Yep, it was hard. Yep, your friends are really really tired of hearing your tale of woe and how it should have been, or how your ex is re-spinning the story that was the two of you into something it was never, just so they can justify themselves and their reactions.

Who Am I? The Internal Question.

We are pummeled back and forth with expectations and cultural and ethical guidelines, but in these constructs do we find who we are? Or do we just create an acceptable facade? 

How many voices are in our heads? How many rule books do we have to play to? When do we sift those things that don't work for us into an acceptable vision of who we really are?

I role play in life. I was a Mom because some wonderful little human beings came out of my body. I was a clown because I felt I needed a life with smiles.

Digital Mistress

A virtual exercise partner in the horizontal mamba, or in other words, a digital mistress is becoming more and more prevalent. 

Men need female support and those tantalizing comments that awaken the testosterone components that keep them driving forward. Some naughty words that make them smile and gives them drive.  

The woman that understands that they have needs becomes valuable. That naughty little comment between meetings, or the photo of a body part is like a vitamin B shot for men. (Hence, here comes the digital mistress.

Flip Side of Immersion Extremes

I have written often on the Engagement Level called Disassociative and how they can be perceived as the bad guys, and i have talked about Immersion as good for education and for those socially isolated but...

It is not like immersion doesn't come with risks, not only for your own heart, but immersion to the extreme is dangerous even for others.

This article was brought to here  

It is about a Second Life gaming couple with a young child who were so immersed in the validation of their virtual life that Real Life obligations were considered interruptions and detested, so much so they starved their child near death and they still didn't care.

Over Easy with Opinions!

With the dissociatives out there and the immersives it is sometimes hard to know who to target? Do you address your comments to those who like the extremes for a giggle or do you work to present a level headed, balanced topic.

In marketing, apparently the advice is to "Make IT Memorable" in whatever way you can...good or bad. Just be known!
They would have you strip and do something "OMG" memorable to get attention, which would allow you coverage in newspapers, magazines, radio and tv to get your true point across.

Cyber Bullying

What is one of the first things to hit me on the news station for my new Florida County? A 12 year old girl committed suicide because of cyber bullying! I am outraged that emotional trauma is filtering down to even younger ones faster than I can get the words or construct out for dealing with online emotional engagement.

I had to call both the sheriff's department and the school district to see if I can offer my services.

We have handed the world over to our youth without any tools to deal with their emotional growth for this human/computer interface.

Again? Tell me why that is real and this is not?

Now that I have made some attempt at publicity for the book I get requests by publicists. Well most of the ones I get are just trying to make their way like everyone else with small little radio shows, or want free books, so claim something they have no intention of fulfilling.

One did actually follow through with a little radio show in Chapel Hill, NC. It was nicely done with the interview conducted on the phone. Our only other communication had been by email. 

He came out and boldly said "Virtual is NOT REAL!

Freedom vs Security - Is either real?

Regulations to control? Regulations to provide the illusion of security? Regulations to give lawyers, judges, and clerks work? Regulations that require everyone to read pages and pages of regulations to see if any of it applies to them? Regulations that require you to purchase insurance in case you have missed any of the regulations and become liable? 

The paperwork of freedom is getting out of hand. We are handcuffing our productivity trying to stay legal to regulations that shift daily. No wonder we have fallen behind in productivity.

The Three Monkeys-See, Hear, Speak No Evil

I have had monkeys by my monitor almost since I have had a computer. 

I found these two adorable ceramic monkeys with large rhinestone eyes at a thrift shop and sat them on my monitor for years. I was never really sure why they just seemed to be perfect there.

One day after a long time spent online I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My eyes had the same glassed-over look as those two rhinestone monkeys. OOooh, now I get it.

I also have several versions of the hear, see, speak no evil monkeys around.

Artistic Differences-Get It?

Art means somebody is NOT going to GET it! That is just the way of it.

Whether you are looking at modern art or classic renaissance; you're listening to  hard rock, rap or country music, there will be someone loving it and others hating it.

I remember going to the Smithsonian's Modern Art Museum with my daughters after we had just spent a couple of hours enjoying the traditional art museum classics. We only spent 15 min walking through this modern museum trying to GET these high profile pieces.

What Moves You? My response...

You know when you write a book that talks about sex online you're going to get a lot of questions like, *Wink* "So what moves you?" undercurrent double entendre.

My answer: Function

Their face drops. That isn't what they wanted to hear? They want to know my kinks.

I can't give them what they want, because I never figured it out myself, which is why I am the perfect one for examining sex online. I won't get sidetracked with seeking to satiate my own desires. 

I look for what works and doesn't work for the people that have these desires.