We find someone online that seems to be a wonderful, with a powerful connection. We share time and our inner thoughts with them.
Why, when there seems nothing to prevent two people from bringing the relationship to real life, do they balk?
This was one of the questions that the search engines referred to my website, so I thought I would attempt to answer that directly.
I can think of two reasons for why someone would not wish to meet someone they care about from their online connections.
1. Online relationships are so much easier than the burden laden real life components of taking on someone else's problems. Trying to merge lives in real is extremely complex and is laden with all sorts of items that could prove difficult and caustic. Adding fights and negotiations needed for a working compromise, shatters the illusion of perfection.
Sometimes the fantasy is what is desired. Fantasy in the real world is harder and harder to come by. The cold cruel facts of lives these days are less optimistic than 25 years ago. There is less hope.
Often the other party thinks all their problems can be handled and solved by their beloved. That can be perceived as a burden, they would choose not to take. We are all just mortal, after all, we don't have all the solutions, even if we claim to online.
2. You don't know everything, and they don't wish you to know.
Here I will tell a story, I was at the eye doctor when that horrid question of, "What do you do for a living?" came up. I took a deep breath and tried to give an accurate elevator pitch that is really not that short.
A guy in the office over heard me and interrupted. "May I ask a question? I heard what you do?" He then told me a story of a gal who he met online. They understood each other, supported each other through life's hiccups. He very much wanted to meet her in real. Took him months to convince her to meet him, and when she did...she was in a wheel chair with breathing apparatus. He was appalled that she did not tell him and was not honest with him.
His question..."Why didn't she tell me?"
Because that would have shatter the fantasy, and what she cherished was his desire for her... a whole her. One that he could never have, but she so wished she could give him.
He claimed he was not as upset about her condition as he was the fact she withheld that information from him. It ruined it for them both. Was it the lack of information or the condition that ended the romance? Might never know.
Other things that might be hidden.
They are really married.
They are not who they say they are.
They have lied to you about their age, race, religion, weight, height etc.
Being online they never had an opportunity to tell you the bad components of themselves. While we are online we tell our tale from within our own justifications not the things that your struggling with. No one likes to air their dirty laundry.
Just got out of prison.
Has a drinking, gambling, drug problem.
Lives with his mother.
So with that component clearly stated, that they do not wish to bring love further, it is now your turn to decide if the online relations is your final goal, or if you seek greener pastures.